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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?